Life has a funny way of working things out. In years past I remembered times in my life when I was the athlete picked last to play in the kick-ball game. Being Picked Last has always bothered me. However, it is one of the main reasons that I learned to grow. If I were never last, I certainly would not have learned to work hard or employ a champion’s desire. These forces rose from within as I faced the mirror of my own imperfections.

In a way, being picked last has molded the person I am today. A person dedicated to life-long learning, faith and sharing what I know so that other people can experience extreme personal growth. I admit that a struggle still exists within me when I get chosen last.

Until being picked last became a successful business strategy. (Now I love it.)

As a professional speaker, I fill out my share of speaking proposals. There are many times I get selected and many other times I do not. It could be something simple like my topic didn’t resonate, or my fees were too high. Heck I’ve been in situations where my fees were too low. When you serve in this capacity, it is an ever-moving target. However, I finally found a new way to market myself that made me deal with the old inner ghost of being last. I have learned the trick of becoming a great “fill-in” speaker. Yea, it’s a lot like getting picked last but when people are in a bind being picked last is a great way to be of service.

When it comes to being picked last this little strategy changed my mindset.

• First, I realized that being picked at all is an honor. As a matter of fact, when I think about the movies and stories I like the most they are all about the underdog coming through in the end. Rather than letting being picked last hurt me at an emotional level I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to write a bigger story for my life. To serve well when no one expects it – and then do my utmost to leave a great impression.

• Second, My desire in life has always been to be a person of character. In my heart, I long to be truly noble. The problem was in how I viewed nobility. I used to think nobility meant being the king of my castle. However, a person of character who is noble means they serve. Not for a little while but for a life time. This was a big idea to Jesus of Nazareth He always went around trying to teach us the essential charter traits needed to be truly noble. He said things like, “Who ever wants to be great must be humble like this child” “The first will be last” “Whoever wishes to be first among you must be a slave of all.” – Understanding these ideas have made me a better leader and set the stage for many great opportunities.

• Third, it’s not over until it’s over. Many times we do the right things by following proper protocol and then, simply give up. I am finding that life is worth a second effort. Reaching out to potential opportunities that rejected you gives them a refreshed opportunity to reconsider. It shows you care that you understand things don’t always work out and that you are humble enough and willing to step in and save the day.

Really I’m OK with being picked last.

Someday I would like to perfect my craft and be the king of the speaking circuit castle. However, I realize that no matter how far we go in life we must be prepared to peer across our walls of pride and add value by serving others. To lead in any area of life, we must remember that the first often times are those whose mindset allows them to remain last…and then over-deliver.

Do you have any stories about being last in life, and then coming through in the end? (Please share your ideas in the comment section below.)

Reflections – Written By Roger Boetger, Trainer and Leader at Tiburon Financial.

As a leader, I am keenly aware of my strengths and weaknesses. It is this reason that I approach growing my leadership abilities like I do tending for my physical needs. Making an investment into my personal growth and development has allowed me to stay sharp in my thinking and progressive in my ideas to develop the teams I serve.

As a professional trainer, I am also aware that I am only as good as my current level of thinking. This means that I must continue to expose myself to great thought leaders so that I can challenge my thinking and grow. Adding value to others through the training process is one of my greatest passions. (That…and watching Duck Dynasty.) This is why I chose to attend the Chick-Fil-A Leadercast hosted by the CBMC organization at Westside Church in Omaha, Nebraska.

I’m also very excited to share my highlights and offer my thoughts to you on Mark’s coaching blog. The following are my personal list of “big” ideas. I hope they add value to your leadership life and encourages you to invest in your own personal growth and development.

Reflections From Leadercast 2013

• Communication Develops the Atmosphere.

For Coach K., this is paramount to how he coaches our USA Olympic teams consisting of superstars earning millions of dollars. Navy Seal trainer Rorke Denver also pointed out that people mimic your communications and amplify them. He believes that our communications are contagious.

This made me aware that my company’s atmosphere is tremendously impacted by my positive or negative communication style. I will take full responsibility for my communications.

• People Should Tell the Truth and Expect the Truth From Others.

Why? Because the powerful result is Trust. Coach K. found trust a powerful element that needs to be in place to set a positive mood. Navy Seal trainer Denver found trust very important as well, as did UNO Professor Paul Bryant. Professor Bryant called it integrity.

I have learned, over the years, that truth is actually more powerful than sugar-coating something. Specifically, when the truth is hard or unpopular news. Truth also equals team unity. As a leader, I’ll continue to improve on delivering hard truth and fostering a healthy team atmosphere.

• Serving Others and Putting Them First is Paramount to Successful Leadership.

Navy Seal Trainer Denver stated that serving others creates a certain clarity of action. Renowned business leader John Maxwell stated that putting others first actually adds value to our own life. He emphasized the Ziglar principle, “You can get everything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want in life.”

For me, adding value to others creates trust. My intention is to be less sporadic and more intentional about adding value. Simple things like talking to people and taking a sincere interest in them adds value. Asking people if they need help with something is another key way I intend to add value to others, and thereby create trust.

• John C Maxwell Emphasized That Influence is Leadership.

He stated that by adding value to others lives we are increasing our own influence on others. This is almost a self-serving plan to multiply our leadership. I loved how Professor Bryant called this point influence that inspires integrity.

Pouring into others by showing interest in what is important to them is the easiest way I can add value. At home, it’s expressing interest and asking questions about what interests my wife, my son, and my daughter, while balancing this with time to focus on my own interests. At work, it’s simple. I talk to people, give instruction (with plenty of truth while incorporating grace), and provide completely new concepts in a high impact learning environment.

• Confidence and Excitement are Key Leadership Qualities.

Professor Bryant called this inspiration, Coach K. called it enthusiasm, and leader of the century Jack Welch called it self-confidence with resiliency. These ingredients are a must for a thriving leader to own.

At Tiburon Financial, our Company Vision statement calls it, “humble yet driven”. I call it, “eager humility”. I try to set a good example, keep my personal values and ethics in mind at all times, and keep things fun whenever possible.

• Leaders Should Focus on Creating a Culture of Success and Not Just the Small Wins and Losses.

This concept sounded a lot like changing a habit cycle, with the reward being a success (The Power of Habit by Award-winning New York Times Reporter and Author Charles Duhigg). Coach K. says we should focus on creating a culture of success and not focus on winning. Professor Bryant says that success or prosperity does not equal materialism.

I want to see people sweat the big things. Often people sweat the little things too much. These folks seem to have a case of toxic stress. My goal is to change the things I can and have enough wisdom to recognize the “big” things and act.

• Being a Good Communicator by Simplifying Every Process so Others Can Follow Easily.

Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice mentioned that we should strive to be a river and not a reservoir when it comes to dispensing information. Leader of the Century Welch called these “teaching moments” that resulted in clarity and action. Coach K. called this communicating. Last but not least, Psychologist Henry Cloud called this simplifying for easy focus and reduced confusion.

My job as a trainer forces me to seek alignment of actions across multiple service offerings. My task is to simplify the way we all communicate while not missing any important client standards of operations. In this, there is less confusion, and more clarity.

The Chick-Fil-A Leadercast proved to be a great investment to me personally and professionally. It challenged me to simplify and reflect on the “whys” behind the “whats” that we do in business and life. I hope to see you next year, and until we meet again, Lead Well!

What was your favorite speaker at the Chick-Fil-A Leadercast 2013…or episode of Duck Dynasty?  (talk to me in the comment section below.) 

Have you every had one of those ideas that seemed good five months earlier? You know ideas like, climbing a mountain or running your first half-marathon. For many, these types of challenges never actually materialize but for some, like me this week, you find yourself 6 miles into a 13.1 mile run wondering what you will be blogging about once your body heals.

IF your body heals.

Dreaming is the easy part. Making dreams come true is where the real work of life begins. I have a friend who watches Duck Dynasty and says wise things to me like, “enjoy the journey.”

The problem is that I am a destination man. I like getting to my destination – enjoying myself – and then getting back.

Running 13.1 miles doesn’t offer that kind of luxury.

Once you start – you are committed, and if your lucky a medal will commemorate all your hard work. But that medal always feels far away – until it’s over.

Along my journey, I discovered some important ideas about myself, my grit and the power of laughter. Running has opened my eyes to several leadership principles. Principles that I believe can assist anyone in becoming a transformational leader.

Leadership 13.1

• 13.1 Proved My Comfort Zone is a Killer.

Running a half marathon has taught me much about the control my comfort zone has over my life. I have learned that even during my most intense training sessions my body always looks to find that place of comfort. Sure I may be getting in better shape, but all the while my body’s goal seems to be, find comfort at all cost. Learning that the comfort zone is actually a killer of human potential has me thinking about my next run.

“Life Begins at the end of your comfort zone.” – Neale Donald Walsh

You see when we learn that the comfort zone we yearn for is a state of mind rather than a place we can begin to grow. By understanding how to move out of ones “comfort zones” and into ones “growth zones” we learn to achieve our dreams.

I like achieving dreams.

• 13.1 Reinforced My Beliefs About the Power of Grit.

Grit that is true to be exact. What I found during my run is that it’s a lot easier to write about grit than to have it. At about mile 8 in my 13.1 mile journey, I began to wonder if I could make it. I wondered because 8 miles is a long way to run, and 5.1 miles is a long way to go.

Have you ever found yourself in this predicament?

At the end of the day, the dream of completing a half marathon seemed romantic. The truth is that it is a long distance, and there was a lot of work needed to be done to reach the finish line.

No, matter your dreams you must be resolute to work. Grit is the substance of achieved dreams.

• 13.1 Taught Me To Laugh Under Pressure.

Early on there was a sign that caught my attention it said, “Chuck Norris Never Ran a Marathon!” True or not, because I am a fan of Chuck Norris jokes, this really made me chuckle. Then there was the gruesome hill we had to get over. About the time I was resorting to labored self-talk, I read another sign it said, “Get Over It, It’s Just A HILL!” (LOL!) Finally as we were finishing up with only a few not so short miles to go – another sign, “Worst Parade Ever!”

I completely agreed, it was the worst parade ever.

There is something significant about keeping a healthy perspective when it comes to the hard work of life. These signs reminded me to laugh out loud.

“Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain.” – Charlie Chaplin

Whether your goals involve 13.1 or 26.2 miles, there are lessons to be learned in the efforts of life. Crossing the finish line with my Son Briley was a powerful reminder that dreams can come true – if I am willing to apply the necessary energy to bring them to life. We have already signed up for another half marathon in November of this year. I figure rather than running one full marathon – two half’s make a whole. 26.2 here we come…kind of anyway.

Perhaps the majority of real runners have known the secret to completing the long runs. Whether it is happening during training or on race day – it takes more than a desire to finish. It takes grit.

The same can be said about the impossible project you are assigned at the office. Maybe you even entertained thoughts of quitting before the tasks got harder. Normally you don’t. You don’t because you have grit.

The essence of grit can be described as a spirit of determinism, perseverance, stubbornness, and intensity. It’s that inner drive that compels us forward in life. It keeps us chugging forward when the rest of our circumstances in life tell us to give up.

No matter the challenge that is waiting in ambush for you; here are three simple reasons why you should carry on with your duties using true grit.

Benefits of True Grit

1. Performance Improves. A study was conducted on the essence of willpower or grit. They brought in dozens of children and tempted them with a treat. While watching them, the scientist made this deal – You may have one treat now or if you wait fifteen minutes you can have two. (Which would you do?)

Many rushed the bowl and took their treat. Some waited. A decade or so later the scientist studied the success of the participants. Almost to the child/adult the ones that waited and did not seek immediate gratification performed better in every area of life.

2. Thinking Expands. In life, there are valuable lessons on the other side of difficult challenges. None of us will be immune to the difficulties of life in this century. However, for people possessing true grit these difficulties are a classroom of self discovery.

Every organization is only as good as their leaders current level of thinking. Expand organizational thinking and you will inevitably expand the organization’s level of success. Thinking expands when influencers own a mindset that understands the value behind every challenge. Grit will not make the situation easier, however, it will make it more advantageous as you persevere.

3. Belief is Enhanced. For many reasons, the twelve step process that alcoholics anonymous uses baffles scientist. You see it was not a scientist who invented the method of changing a habit. It was an addict. At the core of the program lies belief. Success in overcoming and showing true grit, in this area of life, is found by mixing a desire to heal with a belief that it can be done.

Many of the twelve steps talk about a belief in a higher power. It is no secret that learning to believe allows people to overcome. Belief is a powerful mindset that offers life-changing effectiveness.

Owning grit as one travels through crises offers tangible evidence of inner fortitude leading to an increased level of belief. If you think you can, you can.

Understanding that life will prove challenging but that every challenge is an opportunity is empowering. Grit, like willpower, is a skill. A skill that can be developed. Perhaps next time when you are facing an inner lion’s den – you will understand the lessons being taught during hard-times, and allow your grit to take your thinking to another level.

What “life-lessons” have your learned while using grit and persevering in life? (Please, share your thoughts in the comment section.) 

Leaders don’t have the luxury of ordinary.

You know the saying, “it was just another day.” Unfortunately, when you are leading other people towards major goals, you must be engaged all of the time. It was once said that the success of the organization is in direct proportion to the quality if it’s leader’s current thinking. This means that our thinking, or mindset, causes our results.

Talking with a friend the other day I was impressed by her mindset. She was all-in on a major project and really owned a solid grasp on what it would take to move the company up to the next level of success. Unfortunately, she has two peers in her leadership group that were not willing to think about what she was proposing. The team landed on doing nothing. Although this leader remains one of the best critical thinkers I have ever met, no progress was made. Her entire organization remains frozen.

Unfortunately, this situation happens all too often. It’s human nature to get comfortable and shut down our critical thinking skills. But there is a way to overcome the fixed idea syndrome. Every leader can avoid being the one who halts progress by understanding the 4 mindsets that simply don’t work anymore in leadership.

4 Mindsets That Don’t Work

1.)  Leaders With a “Me First” Attitude. When I was seventeen years old, I enlisted in the Naval Reserves. As a member of the Fighting Seabees, I realized some leadership tendencies I was not comfortable with. My job classification was as a Heavy Equipment operator (at my rank that meant – I used a shovel.) I worked hard on our drill weekends. When it came time for lunch, the tradition held that the higher ranking Petty Officers and Officers moved to the front of the line. I waited dutifully and out of necessity enjoyed my chow quickly. I understood that eventually I would be at the front of the line, but this nautical tradition never felt right.

During my second year of college, I was given the opportunity to cross branches and become a soldier in the U.S. Army. ROTC gave me a chance to put my college education to work.There was a striking difference in the leadership mentality. In the Army, the officer’s waited until the last person was fed before eating their own meals. The Army taught me much about great leadership. Lessons like putting others first matters. I learned that the soldiers I lead deserve my best.

The Army taught me how to be a servant leader.

Since then, I have witnessed many leaders with a servant heart soar to new heights utilizing the power of a teamwork.

2.) Leaders Who Blend In. A leader who believes in nothing is just as dangerous as a leader who believes in everything. I have found that the most effective leaders own a bold faith that drives them to the beat of a different drummer. They honor the system but diligently strive to make it better. They never want to leave their teams the same rather they desire to make improvements by adding value to others. Leaders who are afraid of self-expression or opinion have adopted a stance of passivity. Their battle flag says, “Don’t make waves!”

The problem with not making any waves is that we are running our organizations admits not just waves, but tsunamis of change.

3.) Leaders Who Refuse to Think. Utilizing the power of thinking is critical to a leader’s ability to cast vision and bring the world better products and services. Yet, there are those leaders who reject ideas at an alarming rate and refuse to acknowledge any new thoughts or ideas.

When we lock down our thinking for any reason, we do not allow our wisdom to expand. To reject ideas before panning the gold out of them will shortchange growth and potential.

4.) Leaders Who Fail to Live Their Values. Perhaps the most annoying mindset. These leaders talk a good game but live outside of their stated value sets. Nobody forces a value on you, but if you lay claim to one – act on it. The problem with this type of hypocrisy is that it destroys other people’s ability to trust you. When trust is lost, your leadership clout diminishes at a rapid pace. Trust is the hardest thing to gain, and the easiest thing to lose.

Leaders who live double lives are in constant jeopardy of a hard fall. Over my 23 year career leading others, I have witnessed this occurrence over and over again. I learned early on that only by aligning your values with your actions can you sustain long-term results.

I get that no leader is perfect all the time. However, I also feel it’s imperative to avoid these particular mindsets at all cost. Serve others well, stand out, keep thinking, and live your values. Doing this won’t guarantee success, but it will keep your ship from sinking.

What Mindsets Could You Add To My List? (Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below.)