It was dark. I laid there alone and into my mind’s eye drifted thoughts of angry things trying to hurt me. I could see the shadows mounting an attack. In my mind, the end was near.
Like most children, I jumped out of bed. Our house in Arvada, Colorado was cozy. A small ranch style home my parents room located just three steps away, across the hallway.
It did not matter – for when fear came knocking – panic took over.
I quickly moved into our living room which looked more like a gallery of art. Covering the shelves and walls of our main living space was 200 or more owl collectables and images. The 70′s style furniture highlighted by a modest spinet piano offered a wide open and brightly lit place for me to go.
My strategy concluded with a whimper. Turing on every light in the house, banging around in desperation, I often resorted to howling noises, like a dog. I did this until my Father finally got the hint and came offering me his reminder.
“When God is with you, no one is against you.”
Now, older, I sit in the belly of an enormous C-47 aircraft. My back is sore from the crunched position a tightened parachute harness offers. This is my first attempt at military skydiving. The belly of this beast smells like gasoline, and across from me an entire training platoon sits quietly showing obvious signs of unease.
Once on the plane there was only one way out. Fortunately, the fumes and low-level combat flight training the pilots were executing gave me the necessary reason to rush death. It was easy to jump.
Now I am the father. Two extremely young children of my own. Having just been released from my secure bank job, I prepared to sign on the dotted line. To purchase my first business.
All I could see was my children’s large blue eyes bursting with life. My future, our future, was clearly uncertain. On the table before me lay two distinct choices. Another job offer making more money than before or entrepreneurship.
Entrepreneurship offering no promises and against all odds. I signed.
Many times in life I fight only to be overcome by the harshness of fear. Whether real or perceived, I have faced death and jumped. However, even that is not enough to quell my fickle human heart. There is only one consistent way to overcome fear. A gift that when opened offers abundant life. It is the simplest gift ever given.
“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons[f] of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:14-15 ESV